Scary Story!!!

(I had to write scary story for english. This one I'm still working on but I thought I would share it anyway)

The Horror!!!

You just got your first cell phone. You are so excited! You can’t wait till someone calls you. The first person that does call you, you don’t know who they are. When you pick up all you hear is a few seconds of heavy breathing then the person or thing hangs up. All week, every day, at the same time they call. You keep asking “who are you?” but as soon as you ask they hang up.
For the next two days there are no calls from this mysterious being.
That night there is a deep, echoing knock on the door. You have the water running in the kitchen so you can barely hear anything. It feels like your tone deaf. You think you hear something thumbing but your not sure. When you stop the water steam goes up you hear the drumming at he door. It goes to a steady beat, “thump, thump, thump.” You yell from in side “who is it?” but the knocking goes on. You quickly open the door but no ones there.
You hear something crash up stairs. You close the door and walk up the stairs. You see a broken lamp out side of a bright room. You step in to the room with the streaming light. You feel something on the back of your neck. It feels like a needle. Suddenly you fall face forward on to the glass.
The next day the police find you dead. Your cell phone is lying next to you with one voicemail. All the police hear is heavy breathing. ( These are all your faces right now!!!!*he he he*)

okay now that is scary!

Thank you, Thank you. I love you all and come back for more!!! (Please still comment, I love all your comments!!!)

Nice job! I like how you did it in 2nd person.

(I fixed it. Hope you like it)
The Horror!!!

You just got your first cell phone. You are so excited! You can’t wait till someone calls you. The first person that does call you, you don’t know who they are. When you pick up all you hear is a few seconds of heavy breathing then the person or thing hangs up. All week, every day, at the same time they call. You keep asking “who are you?” but as soon as you ask they hang up.
For the next two days there are no calls from this mysterious being.
That night there is a deep, echoing knock on the door. You have the water running in the kitchen so you can barely hear anything. It feels like your tone deaf. You think you hear something thumbing but your not sure. When you stop the water steam goes up you hear the drumming at he door. It goes to a steady beat, “thump, thump, thump.” You yell from inside “who is it?” but the knocking goes on. You quickly open the door but no ones there.
You hear something crash up stairs. You close the door and walk up the stairs. You see a broken lamp outside of a bright room. As you step into the room the light streams upon you. You feel something on the back of your neck. It feels like a needle. Suddenly you fall face forward on to the glass.
The next day the police find you dead. Your cell phone is lying next to you with one voicemail. All the police hear is heavy breathing.